Posts by mikeekta:
How Should Domestic Violence Perpetrators Be Dealt With?
July 7th, 2011While everyone agrees that victims of domestic violence must be helped, no on talks about the perpetrators of domestic violence or if they do at all, many will want the perpetrators to be given the highest punishment possible. The truth however is, that perpetrators of domestic violence also need help and sometimes their behavior itself is a call for help which unfortunately is not recognized by many.
Although there are quite a number of female perpetrators, we have to agree that most of the perpetrators of domestic violence happen to be male. A majority of them realize that they need help but are not aware how to get it. Some of them are really desperate to change their ways. With most of the domestic violence cases ending in courts, an order to attend classes conducted on domestic violation is often a stipulation of the court. There are of course some perpetrators who having realized the dire straits they are in, start attending these classes of their own free well.
These classes are designed with the idea of changing the violent behavior of a person and help him to realize how disruptive and unhealthy it is for him and all those around him. The perpetrators are educated about the consequences of domestic violence especially on the children and how the behavior of the father will impact on the lives of the children who have to witness abuse and violence daily in their homes. These classes also help to draw out the underlying reason for this type of violent behavior so that the perpetrator can confront them and start changing his beliefs and attitudes which so far has made him to act the way he has.
Perpetrators of domestic violence can be from any walk of life, race, religion or background. The classes are conducted in small groups where the instructors are also male and who themselves might have been perpetrators some time in their lives. Domestic violence perpetrators who take part in the classes are taught to confront their anger and behavior and also to take responsibility for their acts of violence instead of blaming others. They are taught to recognize the signs and how to stop when they are about to become violent.
If perpetrators of domestic violence have relationship problems where they become provoked by a partner’s anger, they will be taught how to approach the partner without being abusive and also by helping the partner to manage her anger in a better way. Most importantly, they learn that it is up to them to choose whether they wish to be violent and abusive or solve problems with a non abusive approach that would help to build a relationship or make it stronger. At the meetings they have to report on their behavior since the last meeting and to comment on the progress they have made in controlling their anger.
What one has to understand is that in the same way that the abused is the victim of the abuser, the perpetrator is also a victim of circumstances which would have made an impact in his life when he was quite young such as an abusive and violent relationship between his parents or he himself being abused when he was young either by his parents, a teacher or relative.
According to reports and testimonies received from many past perpetrators, these classes have really helped them to change and build a healthy relationship with their partners and they are quite positive about the help they received which as stated by them is very practical and relevant to the problems they had been having for a long time.
Christine Crotts is not a native, but after two decades in North Carolina she feels that she can call it home. Christine has written a site containing reviews on Charlotte NC Homes for Sale, as well as Charlotte North Carolina hotels.
Safe Weight Loss and a Healthy Diet
October 25th, 2008Are you carrying around a little more weight than you would like? Possibly a lot more weight than you would like and you have to do something about it? You are not without company. The obesity epidemic in America is out of control. Obesity is also a growing problem around the world as American fast-food franchises open in countries that have never had this problem on a large-scale.
Being overweight can lead to severe health issues. Having too much extra weight can make you more prone to heart problems, diabetes, strokes, and some types of cancer. You deserve to enjoy life, being unhealthy when you can do something about it is no way to live.
Just because you are on a low calorie diet does not mean you have to starve yourself or eat nothing but sprouts and brand. Understanding this can help you stay determined and take off some of that weight that is making you unhealthy. Some weight loss programs can make you weak and hungry. The good news is you don’t have go through this to lose weight. In fact it is much easer to loose weight if you eat enough of the right foods so you don’t get weak and hungry. If you eat healthy foods you will lose weight naturally and keep it off.
It is better that you do not feel hungry. Our bodies tell us that we had better eat when we are hungry. It is a matter of self-preservation, the problem is then we eat foods we should not and we eat too much. It is better to eat smaller regular meals and keep from getting hungry and gorging on ding dongs. If you eat a healthy diet long enough your body will not crave ding dongs.
A low calorie diet with foods you like will help you stick to a healthy eating plan and reach your weight loss goals. Keeping yourself from getting hungry is a key to not overeating. It is also the key to keeping from being miserable. Don’t think of it as a diet, think of it as foods you like to eat that will not add fat.
How to Loose Weight
Eating more calories than you can burn will cause you to gain weigh. Take in less calories than you burn and you will lose weight. The best way to do it is to eat less calories, and increasing the number of calories you burn at the same time. Work out and eat better, notice I did not say, “eat less food”. Eating better is always preferable to eating less. You may find foods that you like that you can eat as much as you like, as long as you do not eat any more Twinkies and walk around the block. It sounds simple and it is but this is the best safe weight loss plan. Learn what foods you like that are low calorie and eat more of them. Each week add a new food and cut out a high calorie food.
Quick weight loss diet plans work in the short run but if you want to keep it off for life you must eat fewer calories, and increasing the number of calories you burn. Your body will not like you and you will not feel good if you go back and forth between gaining weight and then doing the latest fast weight loss diet or taking weight loss pills to get it off for the next prom. For some of us there is always the next prom or reunion we need to get ready for. When it is over we go back to our normal way of eating. I understand this because I did this for years.
Another important point is that you are not eating a low calorie healthy diet to be skinny. Skinny for you may not be healthy; to me skinny people do not look right. It makes me want to buy them lunch or have them over for dinner. If you are not meant to be skinny than why make yourself miserable trying to get there. A healthy weight is different for everyone.
Even worse is believing you have to be skinny to be happy. Be happy now, enjoy the body you have and eat healthy to get to a weight that a healthy weight for you. If you want to take 10 lbs off for the prom that is one thing but if you want to keep it off for your 10 year reunion that’s something all together different.