Posts by hunterjordan:
How to Care For Yourself While Caring For Others
April 17th, 2010I find it hard to believe there is actually a word in the English language that could possibly describe what caregivers go through. There can’t be! The experiences during the process of caregiving are often a deep, emotional shift accompanied by confusion, frustration, and even resentment for many. Somewhere along the line, one loses oneself, and their individuality blurs with the needs of the loved one.
Most are caregivers out of love and affection, and others caregive because it is not financially feasible to pay for professional care. Perhaps a child has a strong desire to care for mom or dad, or possibly a sense of obligation. They will often caregive for as long as they can, only to surrender when they reach a point where they can no longer offer the quality of care the loved one really needs. It makes no difference what the scenario is — all have experienced the same emotional labor.
Who then will care for you, the caregiver? Ultimately, the answer is you. We’ve all heard the saying that “you have to remain strong for those you care for, so please take care of yourself.” But are caregivers really taking the time to replenish their bodies and spirits? If I were a betting lady, I would say no. As a dutiful daughter myself, I would (without thought) put my parents first at every turn, and eventually become weak in body, mind, and spirit. Lost somewhere between raising children and tending to fragile parents, there is a place called limbo. We must prevent ourselves from going there, by anchoring ourselves to a solid, stable place.
What I have learned along the way from my clients is that it is 100% necessary to tend to yourself. When you board an airplane, the flight attendant talks about placing the oxygen over your mouth before assisting others. This is done because without you, the others might perish. The strong one must get stronger (have oxygen) before helping those who aren’t strong. Place the mask over your mouth and “breathe.” The same is true when your feet are on the ground, and you are a caregiver.
There never seems to be enough hours in the day. While this may be true, I have heard many of my elderly clients say, “You must make the time, because it is important to your well-being.” Here are some suggestions I have learned along the way that might bring some “oxygen” to your life, so you can breathe again.
You are all you’ve got! Make dates with your spouse and children to keep sanity in check and keep bonds fresh. This is imperative, so make yourself a promise to do this.
Rest and replenish, even if you have to steal private moments in the backyard, in prayer or meditation, or just sitting.
If you are experiencing guilt, anger, jealousy, resentment, etc., seek the assistance of close friends, a counselor, your minister or rabbi. Realize that much of what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Know when to seek professional help if you become depressed, anxious, or feelings that are not normal.
Combat depression by finding time to engage in an activity that brings you pleasure — a walk with your children or grandchildren, writing in your journal, getting out for 2 or 3 hours to do some shopping. Respite is available in many communities, just so you can rest from caregiving.
Pay attention to these things: sleeping, nutrition, and exercise. Eat as well as you can, and eat fruits (natural pick-me-up) and granola bars, plus plenty of water. The brain is less tired when hydrated, and your organs love it too. Sleep is one of the first things we lose in stressful situations. Instead of relying on artificial sleep aids, try listening to soothing music, curling up with a good book, and cutting down on caffeine.
If your loved one is napping, pop a yoga DVD into the TV and do some stretching; that is really very invigorating. Better yet, if you can get away for an hour, go get a massage.
Listen to music during the day, preferably easy listening, classical, inspirational, or other calming music.
Spiritual self-care. Make time for reflection and spend time with nature. Stay connected with your faith-based organization or church, or consider joining one. Many churches and ministries offer caregiver support groups, or other practical helps.
Be open to inspiration that will come from others. Surround yourself with kind and loving people.
Copyright 2010, The Estate Lady
Julie Hall, known as The Estate Lady, is a professional estate liquidator and certified personal property appraiser. With more than eighteen years experience, she has assisted thousands of individuals in the daunting and often painful process of managing their deceased parents’ affairs. Her experience has been sought across the United States and Canada on radio, TV, and newspaper media including Bloomberg News, MSN Money, and the LA Times. http://www.theestatelady.com She has authored a best-selling book titled “THE BOOMER BURDEN: How to Deal With Your Parents’ Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff”, currently available on Amazon.com. With increasing numbers of boomers and older adults across the globe, they are all leaving behind a lot more than their children bargained for. THE BOOMER BURDEN will guide loved ones on how to appropriately handle their parent’s belongings while keeping one’s sanity …and that is priceless. Julie writes a weekly blog which is available at http://estatelady.wordpress.com, called The Estate Lady Speaks.
One Story House Plans
February 23rd, 2010One story home plans can be any style of home. The homes can be small or large, cottage-like or sprawling. It just depends on your preferences.
One story home plans offer the advantage of not having staircases to maneuver. This can be of particular benefit in several instances. If someone in your family is wheelchair-bound or otherwise has difficulty maneuvering stairs,one story home plans will provide fewer challenges in daily home life. Everything being on one level makes every day a little bit easier for someone who would have difficulties negotiating stairs.
Another situation where you might prefer one story home plans is if you have small children living in the house. Not having to navigate stairs can make things a little less worrisome with regards to your childproofing in your home. You won’t need to be sure to gate off the access to the staircase in order to prevent falls. You’ll have less of a safety concern as far as open windows in the house too, if the farthest distance between window and ground is just a few feet.
There are some potential negatives to choosing one story home plans as well, and you’ll just need to balance those with your preferences and priorities when deciding on your home. Such homes utilize a larger footprint than the same square footage in two story homes. This may mean means sacrificing some lot space, and may limit your choices for outdoor recreation at home.
Heating and cooling systems are likely to be more spread out in a one story home, so therefore more expensive. Likewise with the pipework in your home…the more the distance the plumbing needs to travel, the higher the expenses. These things will tend to be more compact in a two story home, so therefore less expensive.
One story homes will tend to have twice as much roofing expense as their two story counterparts. This is an initial additional expense you’ll want to consider.
On the other hand, you may tend to have a bit more built-in privacy with one story home plans, as the same square footage may tend to leave more space between and around individual lots. It may also decrease housing density for similar reasons, which can be beneficial in many ways, including less traffic in the neighborhood.
One story home plans may offer some noise benefits as well. If you can be on the opposite end of the house from the piano practice (or band practice in the garage), you may get to enjoy more peace and quiet than if that piano was in the living room below your den. Likewise with the pitter patter of little feet…it can be just as adorable, and perhaps more enjoyable, when that pitter patter is not right overhead.
When it comes right down to it, all styles of homes are going to have potential positives and negatives. You just have to decide for yourself which positives and negatives are the most important for you, and decide on your home plans from there
For more information on our Home Plans or to read more on One Story Home Plans or see our One Story House Plans
Large Home Plans
February 23rd, 2010large home plans are something more and more people are looking for these days. Whether it is in order to have more room to spread out for a smaller family, or in order to provide individual spaces for a larger family, they are becoming a more and more popular commodity.
In their search for the perfect home, many families will be looking at large home plans. They will have many decisions they will need to make about their home while it’s still in the planning stages. Potential home buyers will need to decide what style of house they are looking for. That will be one of the first steps in narrowing down the large home plans they will be seeing. They will need to decide between a ranch-style one level layout, and a home with more than one story. They will further need to decide upon a two-story home or a split-level home, as there are likely to be design differences between the two. A two story home will typically have the second story taking up nearly the same space and footprint as the first story. Some split-level homes will as well, but in some cases the footprint for one or more of the levels will be different from that of the other levels.
A large home plan can have a lot to offer the home buyer. More square footage offers the opportunity for more rooms devoted to specific interests. It can also offer increased storage space, and more room for a family to spread out and have some quiet time to themselves. Extra bedrooms, media rooms, game rooms and more may be on your list of things looked for when looking through large home plans. These homes offer some of the same choices you’d need to make in choosing smaller homes, but offer additional choices, due to the larger size of the home.
If you’re looking for large home plans, you may or may not be looking to live on large lot sizes. You may like expansive grounds for your home, and privacy from the neighbors. You may get a lot of enjoyment from tending to your yard, or entertaining outdoors. Perhaps you’d like to include a pool or other outdoor amenities in your yard. On the other hand, you might enjoy visiting from the front porch across the street with the neighbors, and prefer to avoid the lawn responsibilities that can come along with a large lot. If this describes you, you can have the best of both worlds by having a large house on an average or small lot. You’ll get the large interior that you’re looking for, without sacrificing the benefits of a smaller neighborhood.
Ultimately, you have to determine what you think will work best for you and your family. If you think a large home is for you, you should be able to find a suitable style for your family with a little bit of work. With a little bit of effort on your part, you’ll end up in your perfect home.
For more information on our Home Plans or to read more on Two Large Home Plans or see our Large House Plans
Two Story Home Plan
February 14th, 2010Whether you are looking for two story house plans because you prefer the design or for some other reason, you should be easily able to find what you’re looking for. In addition to design preference, there can be some practical reasons you may choose a two story home over a one story home. Two story house plans are well suited for house-building when the lot-size is limited and you’re trying to make the best use of your space. On a small sized lot, you may be trying to get the most bang for your buck, and two story house plans provide that for you because you can get more square footage in the same space if you choose to have a multi-level home.
Two story house plans have the automatic advantage of a very distinct visual separation between public and private parts of the home. Most of the time, particularly if you have a bathroom on the main floor as well, visitors wouldn’t expect to be wandering around your upstairs. This can be an advantage when entertaining because not everything needs to be as immaculate as it might need to be if all spaces were open to the public rooms. It can also make it easier to help keep the children in a particular room while playing. When the whole house isn’t basically open to itself, inviting the kids to spread their “treasures” from one end of the house to the other, a two story house might even help you keep your house in order!
A two story house plan may offer more privacy to the occupants, especially in a neighborhood where some of the other houses are one story. This depends on a lot of factors, of course, including the topography in your neighborhood, but it is something to consider when thinking about what style home to build.
Two story house plans can be a big disadvantage if someone in the family has difficulties negotiating steps or stairs. In some cases, a multi-story house can still accommodate the needs of that family member, but in some cases, it’s better to look at single story houses. If the two story house plans include plans for a bedroom and a full bath on the main level, it can be a workable solution. It wouldn’t even have to be a negative for resale value, as the home could be later sold with that bedroom suite as a nanny or in-law suite, or the bedroom could be used for another purpose.
Two story house plans may make people feel more comfortable and confident in the security of their homes, in some cases. They may like to sleep with the windows open, but be disinclined to do so if the bedroom is on ground level.
Two story homes also have the advantage of using up less of the lot space. If you like to garden, or hope to someday put a pool in the yard, you might want to consider if a two story house might better suit your needs, leaving more of the yard available for other things
For more information on our Home Plans or to read more on Two Story Home Plans or see our Two Story House Plans
Stuck at Home Fun for the Holidays
January 1st, 2010Staycations are the new way to enjoy vacations without going into debt on plane tickets or overpriced gasoline. Do you and your teen need a break but can’t afford to get away? Maybe you’re just snowed in, or don’t want to travel over the break. You can have a fun weekend get-away at home. Warning: this activity involves blowing off chores and responsibilities—a good message to send your kids of all ages!
Home may be where the heart is, but it is still nice to escape from it occasionally. Whether you’re saving up for Christmas or you can’t see your car through the snow, sometimes escape is impossible. You can, however, create a weekend getaway—a staycation—without leaving the house.
To start your staycation, you and your family must agree that, just as if you were staying in a hotel, there will be no chores, not even making beds or cooking! (The kids and probably dad will readily agree, so this rule is targeted at mom!) Let your kids play an active role in deciding what the theme of your staycation will be: Is it family bonding time? Do you and your teen daughter need a spa-like weekend of pampering? Wish you were out seeing the world?
Whatever theme you and your family chooses, design your weekend to fulfill it as much as possible. If it’s family bonding time, pop some old home videos in and play board games. You know how you never have enough time to play a whole game of Monopoly? Well, this staycation weekend, you finally do have the time to discover just who in your family is the Monopoly tycoon! Pop some popcorn and watch a favorite movie. No cooking – you’ll have to order out for pizza tonight.
If it’s just you and your daughter and it is pampering you seek on your staycation, have a home spa weekend. Focus on eating healthy, meditating and relaxing. Take long bubble baths while drinking a glass of champagne (sparkling cider for the younger girls) and reading a romance novel. Paint your fingers and toes and deep condition your hair. Again, no cooking – order in Chinese food.
For those with wanderlust, weekends at home are the hardest for you, but even you can have a weekend getaway by watching some favorite foreign films, looking through photos of prior trips and making plans for your next travel destination. No, it’s not the same as getting away, but if money is tight or weather is a problem, there are ways to “get away” right inside your own home!
This can be a great way to reconnect with your family, but if you want your teens to be involved, let them help with the planning and cater to their desires as well as your own. Remember, this is a great way to get to know the budding adult your teenager is becoming, so don’t lose sight of the true purpose of your staycation.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today?s Teenager ? How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
The Blended Family Home For The Holidays
December 20th, 2009The holidays are just around the corner, and time will quickly start flying by. Before you know it, the countdown to Christmas will be in single digits. While everyone else is busy buying gifts and decorating, along with the holidays will come an extraordinary amount of stress for stepparents, stepchildren, and blended families. You may end up spending more time worrying about how to keep the holiday season from becoming a war zone for your family.
This time of year can be a very difficult time for teens in blended families, especially if they feel that they are being made the target of arguments between spouses and ex-spouses concerning who gets more time with the teen or who gets to host Christmas dinner. It seems sometimes that everyone wants to have the perfect holiday so badly that they forget how much the infighting can affect the teens and kids involved.
If you want to make sure the season goes better for your family, try talking to your teens and find out what they want out of the holidays. Let them know how important it is to you that you get to spend some time with them, but make sure that they know that you understand how important it is for them to get to spend time with all of the people they love.
Even if you have divorced, your teen may still value the traditions you had as a family when you were still married to your teen’s mom or dad. Respect how important those traditions can be, and allow your teen to honor them. It may be something as simple as attending midnight Mass or going caroling on Christmas Eve. If it is an important aspect of the season for your teen, support it.
Now is the time to start talking to your ex-spouse about how everything will be handled. Work it out with your teen’s desires in mind, but keep whatever arguments and struggles you have over the holidays from affecting your teen’s life. Be willing to compromise. Remember, no one will be happy during the holidays if it is clouded by fighting.
Stepparents can take an active role in making the season a better experience by being understanding about shared time and custody, and remaining flexible about when and how celebrations happen. They can also help by making sure all the kids in the family, no matter whose they are biologically, are treated fairly when it comes to doling out gifts and treats.
It is not easy to build a new family and get through those first few years of shared custody, and it’s ok to be frustrated. It’s also ok to have limits and to desire (but not expect) cooperation in return. No matter how hard you try to be equitable and fair, your ex-spouse may not cooperate. All you can do is make your best efforts, communicate to your teen, and let him or her know that your priority is having a happy holiday that includes him or her.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today?s Teenager ? How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Keeping Your Teens Involved in the Holidays
December 20th, 2009Keeping your teens involved in the holiday festivities as they get older can be a challenge. Especially when the economy is tough, it is difficult to find creative ways to keep your family united, especially if you have kids in a wide age range. The little kids have it easy – waiting for Santa Claus is really the only thing they have to do, but older kids need to feel more involved in order to stay engaged and connected.
With the holidays coming and the economy tight, you can be creative on a small budget and keep your teen involved by combining technology with the spirit of the season. Teens love technology, and it does not matter what holiday you celebrate this time of year. The one thing all the different holidays have in common is a sense of gratitude and a desire to stay connected or reconnect with family.
In order to make the holidays special without blowing the budget and give your teens a project that will keep them interested and involved, why not try making a family movie together? When you make a movie using a digital format, you can upload the video onto the web and share it with family and friends across the country, keeping you close even when miles separate you.
The best way to make your family movie a success is to plan ahead. Allow your teen to be involved in both the creative and the technical process of making the film. Decide where you are going to film your movie, what kinds of things you want to include, and how long it should be (15-20 minutes is ideal). If your children have a special talent, this is the perfect time to let them show off. Record your songbird singing Christmas carols or your daughter’s flute solo.
Use a tripod to capture the whole family on film, with everyone singing a song or speaking a greeting, and send the message to friends and family for the holidays. Involve grandparents, if you can, recording them as they answer questions about their lives. The great thing about a project like this is that it gets your whole family involved, creates a feeling of connection between you and your teens, and gives everyone a sense of accomplishment.
Let your teen act as producer and director (they probably know a lot more about the technology required to upload the videos to the internet anyway) and feed their creative instincts. The final product will make a great gift to family members (your teen will probably know how to burn the movie onto a DVD using your computer) and let your teen stay involved in the holiday and create some true holiday spirit.
If you don’t have easy access to a digital video recorder, turn your teen loose with a digital camera and have him or her create a photo collage or photo calendar to share with family and friends to celebrate the holiday and the New Year. It’s a great way to keep your teen involved.
Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today?s Teenager ? How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you’ll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
Can Power Lines Near Your Home Have an Impact on Value?
November 21st, 2009There is a lot of conflicting information out there about power lines and how they affect the value of homes and property. Some people feel they are an eyesore, other’s don’t like the noise, and others feel that they are a health hazard as well. Here’s a closer look at this controversy to help you figure out if this is something that may affect the purchasing or selling of a home.
Power Lines and Cancer
Some people believe that the electro magnetic fields that are invisibly generated by power lines are damaging to the DNA and can cause cancers to develop. This definitely sounds scary, but if you dissect the information available, you’ll find that there are no scientific conclusions that this is the case. Research has been done by various top health organizations, and they all have come to the conclusion that there is not enough evidence to say that these power lines can increase the risk of cancer. Here is a look at several of the studies that have been done:
- http://www.niehs.nih.gov/health/topics/agents/emf/
- http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/magnetic-fields
- http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs304/en/index.html
Power Lines and Your Home’s Resale Value
Of course, even though there is no research to say that power lines can be dangerous to your health, there are still plenty of people who are afraid of the. Many people read horror stories of problems supposedly developed by leaving near power lines and they have a fear of power lines on or near a property. This is an irremediable defect to a piece of property that you can’t really change, and it definitely can affect your resale value on a home.
In some cases you will find that fewer buyers are willing to purchase a home that is located near power lines, especially those who have small children. Some are worried about health hazards while others may not want the line towers on or near their property since they look ugly. Studies show that while these properties still sell, you can expect to see a price hit between 1-5%, depending on the area, the number of power lines, and their proximity to the home.
Of course, you’ll always have those people who are thrilled to get a beautiful home for a reasonable price, no matter where it is located. There are things you can do to make your home more attractive for buyers as well. Consider planting a nice hedge around your home or some trees that help to block the power lines from sight. If they can’t easily see the power lines, buyers may be more likely to purchase the home.
So, you’ll definitely find that power lines can throw a wrench in your plans of selling a home, but you should still be able to sell your home. You may take a bit of a price hit, but with a bit of improvement on your part, you should be able to distract buyers from power lines if they aren’t directly on your property.
To search for Boulder Colorado real estate, be sure to visit Automated Homefinder.
Family Gathering
November 7th, 2009Many times you wait for an occasion to get together with family
hoping that this time it will be different and many times you may feel disappointed.
When family get together you can see and hear the arguments that have not been resolve.
Sometimes the disagreements are in the open and sometimes it is hidden among the response of the people.
Obligation
You may feel obligated to attend because of your parents and tradition.
You may feel that you must talk to your family members and do not feel that you have anything in common.
Each time your family members see each other it is like pulling teeth.
You may find that as you step in the door of your parent’s home you take on the same role that you had with your family members before you left.
You may notice that your family members insist to hold you to that role although you attempt to get out of that role.
Your partner may join in and support the role your other members assigned you or they may stay out of it because they have heard you complain about it often.
Complaining
You may use their partner in life to help you to continue to complain, blame, or justify your point of view of why you are acting that way.
For some, why or what was the problem and how did it get started may not be remembered, you just remember you are not getting along and may remind yourself not to forget just before you enter your parents home.
Rebuilding Relationships
It is difficult to decide to start rebuilding a relationship during a festive occasion.
During the year is a good time to rebuild a relationship with your family because it will help you during the festive moment come closer to celebrate.
Taking the first step toward healing ask lots of courage and compassion, it takes time and patience.
Choosing to break the cycle is not only for you and your first family members it is also for your children’s future.
Holding on to the big picture of what you want to accomplish and how it is going to help you and your children can give you the driving force to break the old pattern.
Realizing your role
It takes two persons to have an argument, stay mad with each other, and blame each other.
It takes one person to have the courage to make peace, to ask forgiveness, it does not matter who is right or wrong, it matters how you want to live your life.
Emotional pain leads to physical pain sometimes in the form of dis-ease, drugs and sometimes as difficulties with money.
Become a hero to yourself and heal the wound that you have been carrying around for many years.
What do you want to be remembered for, your ability to be right or your ability to make peace?
Conclusion: You can continue to blame your family member for the rest of your life for what and how you act with each other or you can choose to heal and allow yourself to be the person you always wanted to be by your new behaviour.
The author grants full reprint rights to this article. You may reprint and electronically distribute this article so long as its contents remain unchanged, and the author’s byline remains in place. Francis is the owner of http://trans-formers.com if you want more information on free relationship advice in your life you can find at:http://www.trans-formers.com/free-relationship-advice.html
How to Host a Thanksgiving Feast
October 27th, 2009Planning a Thanksgiving Feast for a small gathering or a large group of family and friends can be a bit intimidating. Before you become nervous, don’t! Here are some great ideas to make sure that your Thanksgiving Dinner Party runs smoothly!
We all realize that planning a Thanksgiving dinner party takes a lot of work and planning but the first thing you must come up with is the theme, this will make your life easier. The theme for the Thanksgiving dinner party and your table setting will bring everything together, the food, the colors, the centerpieces and the table d?cor. When decorating your table you must get creative, think about adding a little something for your guest to take away from this fabulous Thanksgiving feast; something that represents fall, a Thanksgiving Table Favor. You can also dress the table up by decorating it with leaves and/or pine cones.
After you select your theme and get your table decorations together, you can come up with a Thanksgiving menu. Depending on whether or not you are having a traditional or non traditional dinner will be based on what you will want to serve. Make sure that you take some time out and prepare any dishes that can be prepared earlier such as gravy, cranberry sauce or rolls. Anything you can prepare earlier please do, it will make your life as a hostess much easier! Once you have your menu set make sure you go through your menu and make of list of everything you need, including condiments. You should check your list twice, just to make sure that you don’t leave anything off.
Bring out the nice dinnerware! Anytime you are hosting a dinner party, this is the time to break out the finest and if you don’t have any dinnerware this is the time to go and make that investment. It’s definitely well worth it! If you do own your very own dinnerware, make sure you clean and polish it a few days before your Thanksgiving feast. Also, don’t try to do everything by yourself, see if your friends or family don’t mind giving you a hand. And if you have kids, you can summon both your kids and your significant other to pitch in! They could help out with the cleaning and getting all the little things tidied up for the dinner party.
One thing many people don’t take advantage of when hosting a dinner party is asking the guest to bring in a few side dishes. Your guest won’t mind helping you out because you are gracious enough to lend your home and host such a lovely dinner. You can have your guest bring side dishes, desserts, breads and/or beverages. You may have an aunt that makes the best ice tea in the world and you can ask her to make her famous tea for your dinner party, she would be flattered! Your family and friends will be thrilled to lend a helping hand knowing that’s less stress off for you.
Now you are ready to host your wonderful Thanksgiving Feast with your family and friends. Relax and enjoy your company and enjoy the fun!
Have A Great Thanksgiving Feast!
Keisha Mosley is a writer for Favor Affair where you can shop for Thanksgiving table favors and create a memorable Thanksgiving table.