Posts by TruthAboutabsReviews:
Explaining Missing Parents
March 6th, 2009If you are raising your grandchild, you will reach a natural point in which a discussion about the whereabouts of their natural parents will need to be had. If you are raising your grandchild due to the imprisonment or drug addiction of your own child, this can be a particularly difficult subject. The need to protect your grandchild from unpleasant information can be overwhelming, yet the natural desire to tell the truth conflicts heavily against this.
The best solution is, as is so often the case, the most simple: be honest. The reasons for this are many. To begin with, if you do lie to your grandchild about the whereabouts of their parents, you are only prolonging the problem and discussion for years to come. It may seem endlessly tempting to try and tell them their parent is on a trip or working abroad, but nevertheless, the issue will raise itself again and a fresh set of lies will need to be told every time it does.
There is also the possibility that your grandchild may discover the unsavoury truth about the whereabouts of their parents from someone outside of the family. If they hear this for the first time in an unpleasant situation – such as playground teasing – the impact of the news is going to be all the more devastating. You will then also have to face the fact that your grandchild knows they have been lied to; while later in life they may understand that you did it to protect them, the mind of a child is not quite so clear thinking and you may be blamed for your decision. At the very least, it raises the issue of trust; you must be the one to set an example on this issue, and by lying about such an important issue you are setting a dangerous precedent.
No child, no matter what age, is going to want to hear that their parent or parents are unable to care for their child themselves due to a prison sentence or substance abuse problem. This is going to be a difficult conversation, and in fact a different concept, for the child to grasp; by telling the truth, you are simply taking the most direct course of action, and it does work out for the benefit of the child in the long run. The sooner they know the truth, the sooner they can deal with the surrounding issues and emotions that such a revelation will naturally bring.
The issue then becomes of how much information you should divulge. This varies depending on the age and understanding of the child, but in general, keep it simple. There is no need to go into details; a simple explanation that their parent did something very wrong and are being punished for it. In the case of drug abuse, explain that their parent is unwell and has taken bad steps to try and make themselves better. There is some truth in this – most drug addiction stems from problematic mental health problems – and while you are given information, you are not giving unnecessary detail. Keep it simple, and be prepared to listen and be there for your grandchild when the news is out; they will need your support more than ever.
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Visitation For Grandparents
March 6th, 2009In an ideal world and in an ideal family, the role of the grandparent is preserved. The grandparent sees their grandchild when they want, in a pleasant and fun atmosphere for both parties, and the entire situation is surrounded with love and affection rather than acrimony and tension. Many grandparents play important roles in the lives of their grandchildren; schooling them, helping to raise them and in some cases taking them into their own care.
However, we sadly do not live in an ideal world, and situations can arise in any family in which a grandparent may suddenly find their access and visitation to their grandchild removed. This can happen for a number of reasons; sometimes, if the child’s parents divorce, the situation is so filled with acrimony no provision is set in place for grandparent visitation, or maybe the grandparent and their child have had a disagreement with has lead to the grandchild’s parent denying access to their child. The reasons are vast and varied, but the solutions are often the same.
If it comes to it, in many states a grandparent can petition the Superior Court of their state with a request to see their grandchild. This, however, should only ever be considered a last and final measure; it is more important to try and resolve the issues that have lead to a restriction of access first.
Ensure that, should the parents of your grandchild be divorcing, you as the grandparent are kept in mind during the proceedings. This can often be an actual written determination in the divorce settlement, allowing for your rights to visit a child. This is particularly important if it is not your own son or daughter that will receive full custody; ensure that your rights and desires to see your grandchild are made clear to your soon-to-be ex son or daughter in law.
If an argument has erupted between you and your child and this has lead to the withdrawal of visitation for you to your grandchild, consider using a professional mediator. This is often recommended by the Court in the first instance, so pre-empt this step by doing it yourself. Try and focus during these sessions on what is best for the grandchild; it is essential you try and sideline whatever differences you have with the child’s parents to ensure your right to visitation is upheld. After all, it is not necessary that you see the child with parental supervision. It is only necessary to find a solution and then keep things civil; this is easier to do if you keep in mind what is best for the child, something both parties should desire.
If, however, these steps do not resolve the conflict and you are still being denied the right to see your grandchild, the final and only step left is to petition the court. Whether or not these petitions are upheld depends on which state you live in; it is best to check this with the Court itself or a specialized family attorney. If you can petition the state, seek legal advice from a family law attorney, and follow the process to the letter. Good luck, and remember to only ever use the law as a final last ditch attempt.
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Long Distance Grand Parenting
February 27th, 2009Relationships with grandchildren require constant flourishing. When grandchildren are near, nourishing becomes easy as grandparents can spend time and carry out activities with their grandchildren. However, when living far, accomplishing this may be difficult. There is a wide range of fun and creative activities that can be done at a distance with grandchildren. These activities benefit long distance grand parents to keep in touch with their grandchildren. Today, distance separates many families that move in order to earn a living, for adventure, to retire or because of health reasons. Long distance normally affects the closeness in the family particularly the grandchild-grandparent relationship. Thanks to technology, grandparents can now nourish relationships with their grandchildren using various forms of technology.
Grandparenting websites offer various activities grandparents can use in maintaining and strengthening the grandchild-grandparent relationship. Get free e-mail updates on how to strengthen the long distance relationship with your grandchildren. Sometimes, life can be so hectic during the week and nurturing the relationship forgotten. That is why free email reminder services come in handy to remind grandparents of what to do. Various websites offer reminders for each week accompanied with the activities that can be done with a child. Irrespective of how far grandchildren and grandparents reside from each other, there are various things that can work in the favor of keeping the bond alive. Young children normally have the ability of expanding time. This means that the time spent a grandchild is very much savored by the kid and can keep nourishing the child for a substantial amount of time. Technology is a very great blessing as it has become a huge asset to help foster emotional relations despite distance. For sure, technology is a boon fostering ongoing communication which is an indispensable factor to keep a grandparent and grandchild close.
To maintain a strong attachment with grandchildren over distance, the underlying principle calls for constant communication and continuity. Grandparents should think of convening a family conference with grandchildren and children. Identify any issues then discuss any problems or pitfalls of the geographical distance. Try as much as possible to be physically together with the kids to reduce the damage made to the family’s fabric. Formulate an action plan of spending quality time with the grandchildren and even engage in the various online activities available. Give pledges of family financial resources for supporting this plan then allocate the resources to each activity. Grandparents can even save money and plan for a Grandparent-Grandchild Summer Camp and have fun with each other. Planning for visits and vacations is also necessary so that there is enough time and outings spent together with the children.
Keeping an attachment growing over a distance requires creativity and commitment so as to be part of the grandchild’s daily life. Children develop and change rapidly and that is why keeping a strong bond is necessary. With technology, grandparents can use cell phones, emails, videoconferencing and faxes among others to remain in touch with their grandchildren. They can send jokes and letters to each other and keep their contact vibrant, relevant, interesting and loving. Audiotapes and videotapes recorded using tape recorders or cameras are excellent ways of establishing contact with grandchildren. Additionally, be present when a grandchild is born to get the emotional closeness started. Being present in other important occasions like recitals, graduations, religious passages, holidays and any other occasions valued highly is very important. Above all, creativity and personal ingenuity comes in handy to keep grandchildren emotionally close.
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National Grandparents Day
February 27th, 2009The tradition of the National Grandparents Day was started by Marian McQuade, a housewife who lived in Flayette, West Virginia. McQuade’s key motivation was championing the causes of lonely elderly people in nursing homes. Marian also had a hope of swaying grandchildren into tapping the heritage and wisdom their grandparents bestowed on them. In the year 1978, President Jimmy Carter first proclaimed that the National Grandparents Day was to be celebrated each year, the first Sunday following Labor Day. McQuade made educating youngsters on contributions made by senior citizens in society her goal. She went further convincing the young in adopting a grandparent for life and caring for them. The National Grandparents Day statute that was passed by the congress cites that the purpose of that day was in the honor of grandparents, to provide for them a chance of loving their grandchildren and assist them in realizing the information, guidance and strength old people are capable of giving. The official song for this great day is Johnny Prill’s song ‘A Song for Grandma and Grandpa’ with the official flower being the forget-me-not flowers
Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade began her campaign of setting aside this special day fro every grandparent in the year 1970. Initially, the campaigns were conducted through churches, political leaders and businesses but later they extended statewide. Senator Jennings Randolph was very instrumental in this great project. Before being officially proclaimed by President Jimmy Carter as a National Grandparents Day, Governor Arch Moore of West Virginia proclaimed the first Grandparents day in 1973. Senator Randolph went ahead and introduced a resolution for Grandparents Day in the Senate of the United States. Letters were sent to businesses, churches, and may other national organizations that had interest in senior citizens. Marian Lucille McQuade and Joe, her husband had 15 children who bore her 40 grandchildren plus 8 great grandchildren. Though her campaigns began in 1970, her work dated back to 1956. She worked tirelessly with various states. In 1971, Marian was elected as West Virginia Committee on Aging Vice-Chair and at the same time was elected by Governor Arch A. Moore as one of the Delegates in the White House Conference on Aging.
There are activities to be observed on this family day by senior organizations, churches and schools in honor of this day. A number of families hold family reunions and other hold small private family gatherings. Board games easy to play by both the old and young also add fun to family gatherings and enhance intergenerational interaction. Story telling times are also used in large family gatherings. As grandparents day approaches, grandchildren and children identify and date photos in old family albums. National Grandparents Day presents a perfect time for enhancing communication between generations. Special talents like cooking, quilting, and sculpting, are passed on to those displaying interest. Old family songs, dances and music and their origins and meaning are vital in maintaining the family background. Over years, the National Grandparents Day has reconstructed family trees providing children with the chance of learning the ancestral lines to their families. The Grandparents Day denotes loving spirits for the elderly living within families all through the year. Today, this great event started by just a few people has gained popularity and is commemorated by millions of people all through the United States.
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Survival Guide For New Grandparents
February 5th, 2009You’ve waited for what seems like ages to finally be able to spoil a grandchild rotten and enjoy free time lavishing your son or daughter’s new baby with love. Now that the time has arrived, you can’t take your eyes off the little bundle of joy. Secretly, you’re also terrified inside, dreading the day your children ask you to watch the baby alone. After all, you haven’t held a newborn since your own children were little and you can’t remember the do’s and don’ts of childcare.
Relax! You have done this all before and while it’s not quite like riding a bike, you will get the hang of it again. There are a few things you need to do to prepare yourself and your home for visits from the little one, but other than that, you will be fine.
To get ready, keep these refresher tips in mind:
Baby care basics – Give yourself a chair and about two seconds and you will remember just how easy it is to hold and love a baby. This part will come easy. Beyond that, you just need to make sure the new mother and father fill you in on sleep routines, feeding schedules and any allergies the baby might have. If they have particular instructions or do’s and don’ts of their own, ask before you agree to watch the infant alone. Diapering, feeding, burping and cuddling will all come back to you quickly enough.
Preparing for the baby – If you know you’ll be watching the baby on a fairly regular basis, it’s best to start baby proofing your home early. Wait until your grandchild reaches the toddler stage and you will be behind the curve. While you might not remember going through so much trouble for your own children, you will appreciate taking the right steps in advance because they can help make sitting almost trouble free. Things to remember to do include putting all chemicals and medications out of reach, getting chain locks for doors that are high enough a child can’t get to them, covering outlets with special plugs, putting latches on cabinets, drawers and toilet lids and closing off sources of water with special gates or secured doors. You may also want to put up your breakables and special items you don’t want a baby getting into.
First aid basics – First aid for babies and toddlers isn’t quite like what it used to be. Gone are the days of baby aspirin, cold medicines and other similar remedies. To prepare, ask your children what they use for fever and pain relief, for example. Also, get yourself a ready-prepared first aid kit designed for infants and toddlers. A good one will have such items as a first aid book, nose aspirator, thermometer and other basic supplies. It’s also a good idea to take an infant CPR and first aid class.
Other considerations – Before baby stays at your house without Mom and Dad, you may also want to make arrangements to have a play yard or pen, bassinet or crib, swing and other items on hand. If you plan on traveling with the little one – even around the corner – invest in a child safety seat. Make sure your children leave behind contact numbers, including the baby’s pediatrician in case an emergency arises.
Taking care of your new grandchild can seem quite daunting at first. Just relax, breathe and remember you’ve been through it all before. The ins and outs will come back to you quickly enough. Have fun and your grandchild will, too!
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Grandparent’s Day
January 31st, 2009Family ties are very important to many. It is what keeps us all together as family. These types of bonds go very deep. Grandparents are an essential part of every family. They are the ones that directly played a role in our own existence. Grandparent’s Day is a day that honors those special seniors that we should cherish and respect. It is a relatively new holiday but it is one that should be maintained and carried on for many years to come.
Grandparent’s Day is a secular holiday that has come to be celebrated in both the United States and Canada on the very first Sunday after Labour Day. Grandparents are people that seem to get less and less respect all the time. This just is not acceptable. People need to be made aware of how special seniors are to our community and our history. It is up to the rest of us to make sure our older generations are cared for and considered the way they should be.
The very first Grandparent’s Day was started by a lady named Marian McQuade. She realized that it was time to take a stand for grandparents that were not receiving the respect they deserve and she pushed for this day to be made national. Many of the government officials agreed with all that she had to say regarding the importance of the nation’s grandparents. The first Grandparent’s Day ever was in the year 1978. Marian’s family has a website devoted to her cause and does all they can to support what she believed so strongly in.
Marian’s main goal was to have all of the young people of today be made aware of all their grandparents had to go through and work for. Without their hard work and sacrifices, many of us would not have the wonderful free lives we lead today. A history lesson in school is just not good enough when it comes to the reality of what Marian believed in. The best way to learn from our grandparents is to pay attention to them right now and honor them as they so deserve.
There is also a song that was written especially for the celebration of Grandparent’s Day. It is called “A Song for Grandma and Grandpa” and it was written by a man named Johnny Prill. It is a lovely song that can be found online with a Google search. This song is just one of the many ways that seniors are honored for all they have done in the past to lead us to where we currently stand today.
The family structure is built on all that our grandparents have taught us. Our values and moral beliefs stem directly from them. The only way we will retain them is to remember and respect where they came from. More emphasis is needed on the family structure. Younger children will not be able to carry on all that their grandparents intended if they do not know any better. Grandparent’s Day is a fantastic way to encourage youth to appreciate seniors.
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Tips For Being the Best Grandparent You Can Be
January 12th, 2009Parents are not issued an instruction manual to guide them on their journey. They must fumble through each and every day and do the best they can to care for, love and guide the little lives they’ve been entrusted with. Grandparents, too, often find they must fly by the seat of their pants to develop a relationship that is strong, lasting and truly special. Grandparents, however, do have a leg up on the wonderful, rewarding task at hand. They bring experience to the relationship.
So, how can grandparents make sure a strong bond is formed without running the risk of stepping on their own children’s toes along the way? There are some fantastic ideas that can assist to help make this most rewarding task pay off for the benefit of the children and grandchildren both. These ideas can help you on your journey to become the best grandparent you can be:
Remember your boundaries – Grandparents bring experience, wisdom and knowledge to the relationship, but they are not the parents of the little ones in question. Remember the rules of the road your children set for their own children and respect their decisions. While you can still guide your children and offer advice, do keep the boundaries in mind. This will simply make for a much more enjoyable relationship with your children and your grandchildren, too.
Make yourself available – Make time for your grandchildren and always lend them an ear. Even if you live all the way across the country, half way around the world or work 60-hour weeks, you can still remain in close contact with them by calling on the phone, sending cards and letters and even by engaging in e-mail or computer-facilitated conversations. Let them know you are always thinking of them.
Make your time together special – It doesn’t matter if you live next door or around the world, time with your grandchildren should be special. This doesn’t mean you need to spend a fortune on elaborate activities if you cannot afford to do so either. Teach a grandchild how to bake cookies or take a fishing trip to the neighborhood lake for fun and rewarding activities your grandchildren will appreciate. It’s the simple things grandparents can do that often create the most special and lasting of memories. This tends to hold true for young grandchildren as well as teens, too. They will benefit more from your time and undivided attention than anything else you can give them.
Celebrate your time together – Perhaps the best gift you can give your grandchildren is letting them know how much you cherish your time together. Parents, as has been the case since the beginning of time, don’t often have the luxury to take pause and celebrate the little moments. Grandparents, however, do. Create scrapbooks of your activities, write or record little story books about your grandchildren’s visits or just thank them for being them. They will remember this and love you for it.
Just like parents, grandparents are not issued manuals to describe their jobs in detail. To make the most of this experience and ensure that grandchildren know they are valued and loved, give with your heart and spend your time creating the little memories that will last. Unconditional love and undivided attention are the greatest gifts a grandparent can give.
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Support For Grandparents Raising Children
January 12th, 2009Though it is not something that is commonly heard of, there are many grandparents that are devoting their time to raising their grandchildren. There are any numbers of reasons why this may happen. Parents may become ill or deceased or leave with the military. Whatever the reason is, many grandparents are struggling to take over this role. It isn’t easy going from retirement to taking children to school while trying to keep the household running. There are now many support systems available for these grandparents because so many are struggling. There are places that you can turn if you are raising your grandkids.
According to a national census that was taken in the year 2000, more than two and a half million families were led by grandparents. That is an astounding number. It seems that more grandparents are currently raising children than we realize. This can’t be easy especially in an unpredictable economy that is making times hard for everyone. This is something that communities and local support systems must make a point to address.
It will come as good news to some grandparents to learn that there are many helpful sites that are dedicated to making life easier for grandparents that struggle to raise children. RaisingYourGrandchildren.com has so many great resources for grandparents. From medical issues to personal ones, there are plenty of links designed to get you the information that you need. Read through this site carefully to see how they can help you. There are several programs listed that will help you to find financial aid or medical assistance. If you have special circumstances, get in touch with someone who can answer questions for you.
Things like daycare can become a problem too. It’s important for you to know that there are programs you can apply for to get daycare subsidy. What you are taking on is already hard enough. There is no need for you to handle it all alone. It simply isn’t realistic to support children on a pension or other fixed income. Seek out government resources for your state to see how they can help you. You might be surprised with how many options you really have.
In many cases, children may require special care from doctors or social workers. Kids can’t always deal with the absence of parents. Know that there are ways to get them the help that they so desperately need. You should never have to feel like everything is up to you. Children are important and there are many organizations that devote their work to making life easier for them.
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. If you do not stay in great mental and physical shape, you won’t be able to help the kids. Never neglect your own health no matter what. Those children rely on you and that means they need you to be in the best shape possible. Of course the kids may be your priority but you need to come first sometimes too. Speak to those who can help you and don’t feel that you have to do it alone.
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Grandparents and Visitation Rights Issues
December 12th, 2008Though most people could never imagine life without their grandparents, there are many kids around the world that are forced to grow up this way. There are many unfortunate cases where grandparents are denied visitation with their grandchildren by one or both of the parents. Many things can cause something like this. From divorce to poor relationships between family members, there are a number of things that can affect the relationship between grandparent and grandchild.
If you find yourself in a situation where you are not able to see your grandchildren, you should find out what your rights are. Different states have very differing laws regarding this type of issue so find out what your legal rights are where you live. This is the first step in taking matters into your own hands if you feel the decision made by the parents was unfounded.
In some states you will be able to take a case like this to court to present it before the judge. It will then be up to the judge to make a decision regarding visitation. They can set and enforce the rules surrounding when you can see your grandchildren. Hiring a lawyer can be beneficial if the fight is particularly messy or if you feel you are being slandered or misrepresented by the parents.
Unfortunately, there are many states that do not have these types of things in place and there simply is no easy way to fight the choice of the parents. This doesn’t mean that there is nothing that you can do though. It would still be worth seeking legal counsel to cover all of your bases before giving up. You never know when you may find a loophole.
It certainly doesn’t hurt to seek out a consultation with a professional legal mediator if you are having a hard time communicating with the parents of your grandchild. A mediator can help the family sit down either together or separately in an attempt to come to a neutral agreement. Sometimes parents need to be reminded how important it is for kids to have their grandparents in their life. A neutral party can help with that.
If the issue is because of a divorce between your child and their spouse, it can make you feel like a target of undeserved resentment. Make it clear to both your child and their spouse that you are staying neutral in this matter and only want what is best for the children. Make it clear you are not taking sides and make a point to keep your word on that.
If you have any questions or you are just not sure how to get started in a fight for your rights as a grandparent, call a family lawyer. They should be able to answer questions, address specific situations and recommend you to further resources. It’s important not to allow your personal emotions to get the best of you. All of the moves and choices you make should be based on the grandchildren and what they need most at this time.
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Experiencing the History of Grandparent’s Day
December 8th, 2008Grandparent’s Day has grown to become a beloved day that is dedicated to the celebration of grandparents everywhere. Though many people automatically think of grandparents with love and warmth, there are many seniors that do not receive that loving affection from the grandchildren in their lives. That is something that certainly needs to be changed for the better. All grandparents should be honoured as the wonderful sources of family history that they are. None of us would be here without our grandparents. That is not something to be taken lightly.
The creation of Grandparent’s day started with a housewife named Marian McQuade. She lived in Fayette County and she was aware that many seniors were lonely, having been forgotten by family. It was something that she became determined to put a stop to. Too many elderly were left alone in nursing homes while their families went on without them. Marian’s kind heart started something that would change that for many.
Grandparent’s Day is celebrated yearly. It is not given a defined date but falls on the first Sunday after Labour Day. This makes it easy to remember and many calendars are now printed with this date marked off in dedication to Grandparent’s Day.
The seniors of our communities are the very founders of the towns and countries that we live in. They have been a huge part of making the world the place that it is today. To ignore them and leave them in homes is absolutely unacceptable. These people deserve nothing but respect and families must take the first step by remembering what family is really all about.
The very first Grandparent’s Day was in the year 1978. Shockingly enough, many people have yet to hear about this day. It is not a day that is just about calling your grandparent with well wishes and small talk. It is about taking a step to bridge any gap that may exist between you.
Many children of today are so caught up with school, technology and social lives that they spend less time with their grandparents than ever before. There was a time when grandparents were directly involved in the raising of grandchildren. Those days have greatly changed for many families. It’s important to remember and honour the value that grandparents bring to all families.
Marian McQuade also wrote a book about her reasons and beliefs for Grandparent’s Day. It was published in 1982 and is still widely available. Anyone interested in reading this book should be able to find it at a library, online or from the official website dedicated to Grandparent’s Day.
Marian McQuade’s website devoted to this special day gives plenty of information regarding this day and Marian herself who passed away recently. This site is especially helpful for those that are just learning of this day devoted to the grandparents of the world. Browse through the site and learn more about the woman that knew something had to be done before it was too late. Seniors deserve respect and it is time that we all play our part in giving it to them.
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