Posts by DaveSantoro227:
Five Ways To Improve Your Sibling Relationships
August 12th, 2011Many people wish they were closer with their brothers and sisters, especially as their own children grow up and leave home, or as they find themselves responsible for the care of their parents. The reasons for distance between siblings often go back to childhood, when a series of fights, or unresolved unfairness, came between kids. Those old stories do not have to be re-enacted for life. Here are five things you can do to make your sibling relationships easier. You may never be best friends, but very little in this life is perfect.
1. Tear up the old family script. In most families, each of the brothers and sisters takes on a role, and that becomes habitual. Some of these roles depend on genetics (talent, looks), others on family dynamics (the good one, the rebel), and some depend on personality (the grind, Miss Popularity). As adults, these roles are irrelevant to our lives and we shed them—except with our siblings. So get out of the rut: if you were the bossy one, ask your sib for advice and listen to it. If the “angel” in the family gets into trouble, don’t gloat–offer to help. Cutting the labels from your sibling suits is surprisingly effective in bringing you closer.
2. Make a deal with your brothers and sisters that what happened in the nursery stays in the nursery. Many people focus on the things that occurred between them when they were all children. Hitting, biting, stealing from each other, tattling—these unfortunately are hallmarks of childish behavior. They happen in every family, but sometimes the hurt from these experiences lasts a lifetime. If you can retell yourself these stories from the point of view of the adult you are, two things may happen: you will forgive your older brother for pushing you around, and maybe you’ll forgive yourself for being so mean to your sister. Anger and guilt are emotions that keep up apart. Reframe them, and you’ll breathe more easily.
3. When your brother or sister really annoys you, put the shoe on the other foot. How many times have you thought, “I can’t believe we come from the same family”? There are good reasons why you’re different, but that doesn’t matter when you see things so differently and it bothers you. If you’re a working mom with kids in daycare, and you think your stay-at-home sister is wasting her talents and education, remember that she may be wondering how on earth you could turn your kids over to strangers. If you think your brother throws his money around, while you are conscientious about finances, imagine that he might find you cheap. Coming from the same family doesn’t require sharing values or life styles as adults. So it helps to accept their quirks, and hope (without insisting) that they will accept yours.
4. No behind-the-back conversations. You can duck a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings if you avoid talking about your brothers and sisters behind their backs. Don’t let your parents vent to you about any of them and stay away from gossip about them. It might feel good in the short run to be the confidante but it will eventually complicate your relationships. If something happens to one sibling that another needs to know about, it’s best to put them in touch with each other, instead of being the messenger and getting between them. It’s just smart behavior to stop playing “telephone” with, and about, our siblings.
5. Sibling relationships come in every shape and size, from very close to occasional communications. Every relationship takes work, we know, from friendship to marriage, to parenting. Just because you’re born into the same family doesn’t mean you have to be perfect brothers and sisters. Of course there are siblings who are one another’s best friends, but most people go back and forth between loving their siblings and being hurt or annoyed by them. Just like the real world. Don’t worry if your relationship doesn’t appear to be as good as your friend’s does. Sometimes we idealize or envy people because we don’t know what is really going on behind closed doors. The funny thing about feeling better about a relationship is that, when you do, it becomes less tense and tends to improve.
As we get older, there are fewer people to talk to about the past, and fewer people to remember our childhood pets and the songs we sang on the endless car rides, so it’s worth a little effort to improve our sibling relationships. Besides, we need others more than we did when we were younger, and we’re wise enough to understand the value of relationships we once took so lightly. It’s worth a try, and the results may be surprisingly good.
Jane Isay is the author of ?Mom Still Likes You Best: The Unfinished Business Between Siblings? (Doubleday). Visit her online at http://www.janeisay.com.
Why You Should Plan to Visit the Dentist
August 8th, 2011Why don’t you plan to visit the dentist? We as a society are much more comfortable with the idea of a physician’s visit than we are with the idea of a dental visit. Why? We have either learned to be afraid of the dentist’s chair and routine exams or we don’t have the appropriate insurance plan to give our teeth the attention they need. The good news is that both of these issues can be dealt with.
Compassion and gentle touches have become the new dental goal. As a profession dentists have come to realize that there is a huge need for patience and the ability to listen to the needs of their patients.
Choosing a competent dentist that has the ability to work with you and your fears can change your whole outlook on routine care. You can end up being very comfortable while feeling and looking better every time you smile.
Keeping fear a t bay isn’t easy. Yet choosing to give in to fears will eventually lead to dental problems. Tooth decay can be a very serious problem that will keep you in the chair much longer than a routine situation will. Finding a good dentist means looking for one that has a set intention of listening to patients and being gentle with all of their needs.
A complete lack of dental insurance can be highly problematic when you’re trying to care for your teeth. You do have options and you have more control over dental expenses simply by going through with routine screenings and cleanings. Without the routine care your dental bills can soar once you start needing things like fillings, root canals, partials and the removal of bad teeth, and eventually dentures. These things are much more expensive than simple cleanings. If you’re really strapped for money you can find programs that offer great discounts by going through the programs run by dental schools.
Dental schools need to give their soon to be graduates real life experience as they learn. This is a great opportunity for you to give yourself some attention while helping produce competent dentists in the future. Most people find that they work well with dental school programs because they feel free to let the students know if they aren’t listening very well to their needs.
As we go through the daily regimen of tooth brushing, and hopefully flossing, we still need to recognize that if we skip the routine care we set up a situation where we endanger our overall health. Infected teeth are definitely painful, but they also pose other risks like complications from the infection and stroke.
So, why don’t you plan to visit the dentist? The two biggest reasons that people use have now been removed and you can now find a new way to care for your body. Caring for your teeth is part of making sure that you give your whole body the attention and professional attention that it deserves. This is the key to staying healthy.
Cosmetic dentist London Ontario offers cosmetic dentistry services for the whole family, dental exams for kids, Dental X-rays, porcelain veneers, invisalign and tooth whitening.
Today’s Superfood From the Amazon, The Acai Berry
November 6th, 2008A little Brazilian jungle fruit is causing real excitement around the world. It’s called the Acai. (ah-sigh-ee) The whole world has sat up and taken notice of the properties claimed by this berry.
This dark purple fruit of an Amazon palm tree and is packed full of healthy nutritional components. Imagine a fruit which is full of all the essential food products which give the human body energy, essential vitamins and nutrients plus an anti aging agent. This amazing superfood appears to have it all.
Beyond the benefits of drinking red wine, and even better than the nutrittionl value of fresh fruit, this berry promotes good cardio health, encourages digestive system health, and reduces inflamation.
The health benefits don’t stop there. The fatty acids in the berry help the body absorb the omega oils which benefit the joints and help slow the aging process. Maintaining flexible joints will enable the older person to be active for a much longer time without the aches and pains that come with aging.
The berry also lays claims to keeping insulin levels steady. Of course, this benefits not only the body because of the anti-inflammatory properties – which if left unchecked will age the body, but also diabetics may have an easier time controlling their insulin levels which could result in them using less drugs.
Even losing weight is affected by the Acai berry. The nutritionl value of the berry balances the body making it easier to drop those unwanted pounds.
Cancer sufferers too are not left out in the cold as many claim to benefit from drinking Acai berry juice regularly.
No wonder then that the Acai berry is being called the superfood of our time and being advertised on prestigious TV shows.
Many people are testifying to its health benefits and have literally flooded the internet with testimonials about the results experienced on a diverse number of conditions.
Of course, even if there is only a shred of truth in all of these claims, then someone somewhere will benefit from taking this supplement. Could it hurt to give it a try?